Funny Things About Books
The words in a book are an extended arm of our inner monologue.
The era of the dinosaurs doesn’t read books.
Question: What does one book say to another book?
Answer: Book me.
Father: Son, please study hard.
Son: Sure, dad. I did. I have read all your books in your bookshelf!
Father: That’s not enough. I only have one book there.
Wife: Where shall I keep my $100 note so that our son won’t be able to find it?
Husband: Slip it inside his books. He never opens them!
Moral of this is — So open and read our books; money could be hidden right inside there!
Book A: What is the purpose of the appendix in a book?
Book B: No purpose. Like the appendix in the human body, it serves no function.
Book A: No wonder I don’t have one — they probably removed my appendix before I was born.
Reader: Is there any book on how to repair “automatic” gearboxes of a car?
Librarian: We only have “manuals” in our library.
Question: What does an opened book say to a closed book?
Answer: Can you open up to me please since I opened up to you?
A bookworm is always fully booked and so has no time for anything else because he is booked by books.
Teacher: Class, this homework that I am giving you is a piece of cake.
Pupil: Teacher, can we start eating it now?
Son: What is the difference between the fiction books section and nonfiction books section of a library?
Mother: Only half-truths are found in the fiction section whereas absolute truths are put out in the nonfiction section. Anyway, why do you ask?
Son: Yesterday, my friend brought me to the fiction section to talk. Now I know he must be telling half-truths!
Book A: A ghostwriter wrote me.
Book B: You must be a horror fiction book!
Reader: Is there a self-help books section in this library?
Librarian: No. But you can try the nonfiction books section and self-help yourself there.
Reader: Could you help me find it please?
Librarian: Well, I can. But then it would defeat the purpose of “self-help” isn’t it?
Science Fiction Book: More people read me than you.
History Book: Why is it so?
Science Fiction Book: Because you have no future while I am all about the future!
Math Book: I feel sad every day.
Mystery Fiction Book: Why are you sad?
Math Book: I have so many problems to solve.
Mystery Fiction Book: I feel happy every day.
Math Book: Why are you happy?
Mystery Fiction Book: I create mysteries for readers to solve that I myself cannot solve.
Question: What does a witch’s book emphasize?
Answer: Spellings.
Mother: Son, tomorrow is your midterm exam. You ought to be hitting your books.
Son: Sure Mom.
And the son took a book and started hitting it!
The mother became angry and started comparing her son to her daughter.
Mother: Follow your sister and take a leaf out of her book!
And the son took his sister’s book and tore it.
Moral of this is — Idioms make things worse!
The story continued.
The son suddenly remembered an idiom that he recently learned in school.
Son: Mom, why am I always in your bad books and why is my sister always in your good books?
The mother was stunned and finally responded.
Mom: My dear son, let’s close the books.
And the son never needed to open his books again.
Words can be serious just as it can also be fun.
Cheers everyone!
